Monday, January 10, 2011

It's Monday, nearing the end of the first semester.
I am frustrated, partly with a constant sense of pressure to help students succeed in classes I know they will never be successful in. The system itself is flawed beyond immediate repair. It begs for reform, but seems to fight hard to resist the easy fixes, making the most complex ones impossible to even consider.
I am frustrated with the lack of professionalism on the part of colleagues who do not try to help me help students be successful. Their lack of preparation, their lack of pushing themselves for excellence, leads to a complacency on their parts that eeks into their daily teaching and dealing with students.
And lastly, and perhaps the saddest, I am frustrated with students who give up on themselves, using "It's too hard" as an excuse to allow themselves to fail. It seems settling is just easier than trying, than pushing yourself, than actually working to succeed. It seems like failure is so ingrained in their psyches, they just assume... know... expect themselves to fail, and almost welcome the comfort of that knowledge rather than push outside their comfort zones into the realm of possible success.
Beyond all those.... I am frustrated with myself for becoming frustrated with everyone else, wishing I could reach within myself to find solutions to all those situations, and knowing that in each and every instance, while I might have some minute part of control over it, much of the problem lies beyond my reach, beyond my ability to control and 'fix'.

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