Tuesday, November 06, 2012

So there's this kid.....

He swears. The F-bomb. Anytime he gets frustrated.

F-bomb = suspension.

Perfect solution for him.

I am tired of him getting suspended, but not sure how to solve the problem.

Today, the wireless on his netbook wouldn't work. NO biggie, really. He had a paper due that did NOT require him to be online, but the lack of wireless was a huge stresser for him. I tried to fix it, I did. But no luck. He is not the only student I have, and certainly not the only student I have who needs attention, immediate attention, constant attention.

So... after giving it my all to fix his un-needed internet connection, I told him he would just have to turn in his netbook to be checked, and that for now, he could just type his paper. BAM! F-$%^&*(

The frustrations I have are....

    #1 I cannot just choose to ignore. That opens the door for ALL of them to swear at will.
    #2 He knows F-$%^&*( = a suspension so when something doesn't go his way, swearing gets him out of doing the task at hand.
     #3 Suspension leads to more frustration on his part. He misses classes, doesn't do the work he misses, so he gets further behind, and becomes more frustrated with school.
    #4 He comes back apologetic, contrite, and promising not to do it again. He admits his responsibility. He seems to want to be more responsible. He seems to want to try. But as soon as the road gets rocky. BAM. F-$%^&*(
 #5 With no alternative to out of school detention, the school is in a corner, with few options. The parents say all the right things, seem supportive, are always upset with the boy for his words. But nothing changes. Suspension is NOT working. WE NEED AN ALTERNATE PLAN!


TJ Shay said...

I am guessing you have tried giving him and alternative word to use?? Like Fluke? Something that feels as good saying, but doesn't get him in trouble? Give him something to hit/punch? Obviously he has anger issues, it would be nice to channel them. Write the word??

I believe suspension for swearing is a bit strong, but if that's the policy, I guess it is.

cossondra said...

Suspension is the policy for THAT word. With no inschool detention, it is the basic only option for behaviors. I think this is kiddos way of getting out of work.

I have tried every tool in my toolbox.... and no progress. *sigh*

The odd thing.. he is not usually all that ANGRY when he says it. More defeated, more like this is my way out. I get that. If I were him, I might be the same way. Confronted with things I cannot do, do not want to do, an easy way out...

Tiffany A said...

I will just say this:

I have been reading your blog for some time now and I feel like we are twins. Most of the things you post , I am totally experiencing. I too, work with 3 other middle school teachers and that is drama within itself.

cossondra said...

Thanks Tiffany. In some ways, it is comforting to know that things are the same everywhere. In other ways, it is terrifying. I am always ready for some words of wisdom to be tossed my way so please share if you have ideas!

I know what you mean about the coteaching.. sometimes, the adults are more difficult to deal with than the kiddos :P

Madame Aiello said...

Interesting... in my school, a student has to swear directly AT a teacher for even an in-school suspension to click in. It means we have to put up with hearing a LOT more than some of us are comfortable hearing, but that's the way it goes, I guess.

Madame Aiello @ Teaching FSL

Zack said...

since he appears to be gaming the system, how about an alternative consequence for him? sweeping the floor? write a paragraph? public shaming? purple nurple?

Anonymous said...

I agree with Zack. He's playing the system, and he's winning. Is there a guidance counselor, etc who can work on a behavior plan with positive interventions for not using the word? I have been a part of plans such as this; sometimes they're successful and other times not. Our school is beginning to implement PBIS in our school. Do any of you use this program?

cossondra said...

We don't really have a guidance counselor to deal with these type issues, no. But thankfully, the problem has somewhat resolved itself. The incidents are far fewer and we seem to be gaining ground.

PBIS - we are trying to implement, but really, the effort has not been concerted across the staff so the buy-in is not there. I hope to see it get more off the ground with the new semester. I'd be interested to know how it works for others!

The bottom line with this kiddo - when he wants to go home, doesn't want to be in school, he is going to find a way. I think getting him to admit the word was his way of going home was a HUGE step for him!