THE worst part of teaching middle school is the girl drama. One of my more 'dramatic' young ladies came into first hour with that attitude written all over her face. She came up to me and pointedly said, "I'm just telling you because I think you are the only teacher here who cares, but if somebody don't do something about Gertrude(names changed to protect the innocent, the guilty, and me!), I'm gonna slap her face."


"Whoa, wait just a second," I said as Broomhilda walked away with a toss of her hair and a jaunt in her step.

"What's going on?" I knew that Gertrude and Broomhilda had JUST been BFF'S4EVER yesterday.


"She's just got to stop running her fat pie hole is all," Broomhilda elaborated as I wished she'd thought ANYONE else cared.

Wanting nothing but to start class and pretend this whole incident hadn't happened, I pushed further. "Gertrude is telling EVERYONE I am calling people fat wh*res. and, I didn't. You going to talk to her or what?"


"Yes, I will talk to her," I replied with a disenchanted sigh.

Tracking down Gertrude later, of course, there was an entirely different story. Apparently, what REALLY happened was Eustice said that Helga said that Flavia said that Broomhilda told Fiona, that Gertrude said that Broomhilda said that Helga said that Flavia told Eustice that Broomhilda might have thought about telling Gertrude that she was a fat wh*re but really Inga told Gertrude that Helga told Flavia that Broomhilda was ugly and that Gertrude was a poser.
Well, that clears EVERYTHING up, now doesn't it???


So... I drag Broomhilda and Gertrude into my room on my break and try to get them to talk it out. As the plot thickens, with Esmarelda and Trixie spreading rumors about Marcela and Malva to Broomhilda AND to Gertrude, I kind of lost my patience with the whole thing. Here sits Broomhilda with her pouty look, sitting sideways so she doesn't have to LOOK at Gertrude, shaking her teased pile of hair on top of her head, above her thick eyeliner lined eyes, saying she doesn't care WHAT happened, she AIN'T going to be any part of any of this anymore. She is just going to SLAP this next person who says something. And, if I don't believe her that she will slap somebody just call her mom.


And even as I try to get them to talk to each other, and even as Gertrude admits her role in the entire incident and confesses she want to be friends with Broomhilda again, Broomhilda sits there, with that rotten smirky grin pasted across her face.


Finally... I just gave up and sent them both to their classes.


I didn't sign up to be a counselor for a reason!! Girl drama... girl drama....


I almost hope they duke it out so they get suspended so they don't get to go to 7th grade camp next week. How's THAT for a middle school teacher's perfect solution????


19 days, 19 days... we can do this. WE CAN DO THIS. **SIGH**